Selections from the Teachings of R. Shlomo Carlebach
							On Popular Kabbalah and Academia 
[from transcribed audio tapes - most transcriptions by Steve Amdur]

I want you to know something. Today we are living in a little bit -- I mean, on the one hand it's beautiful, because so many people are really wanting to know the inside of Yiddishkeit, the inside of light. Everyone wants to learn kabbala a little bit. I hate the word 'kabbalah'. You know it sounds so straight. And because of this there are about 15,000 paperback books, and then you meet people who don't even know if shabbos is Wednesay or Thursday, I started the Kabbalah. Yeah yeah, I know kaballah, you see. One one hand it's sad, on the other hand it's not to be believed, right. l2 {R. Zalman says, more or less: Nowadays it's mysticism that's exoteric, and halacha that's esoteric. -sa}
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You are a Professor of Talmud at the University but it doesn't {blank} It means I have to receive those secrets. If someone loves you enough to tell you their secretsIt's a kabbala, it's the deepest deepestkabbala. And I want you to know: people who are not in touch with the human,  right, they don't know what is going on in heaven. So here, I mentioned it last week Some great Mekubal came to the holy Ba'al Shem and he says, I would like to learn kabbala from you. The Baal Shem Tov says, I'll give you choice: Or you come to my teaching over this Friday night or Shabbat morning, or you come to my house and you can see the way I play with my two children, Chashala and Udele. Then he says to the Baal Shem -The lecture, does it begin on time? The Baal Shem Tov as much as he is saying the deepest secret of the Torah  is not the deepest kabbala in the world. The deepest deepest kabala, the kabbalistic words, is the way he treats his daughter Udele. That's the deepest kabala in the world.
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Why do children love their parents so much? The way children know their parents is in a very deep way. They don't know biology, they never read a sex book, but they know this is my father, this is my mother.  Imagine if, when children are born, we would have to take them aside and explain to them the facts of life and why this is their father and this is their mother. How close would they be to us? And, sadly, when they find out how a baby is born, they love us less, because it takes away all the holiness.       An exile Jew is one who has read a book on G-d, on theology, he is a Kabbalist. It's like an adult, looking at his parents. Pesach is when we are looking at G-d again, like a baby on the day it's born. It's not less, it's not stupid. It is the highest.
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Ok now listen to this. awesome, awesome. Everybody knows that this month [shvat] is the fixing of the beginning of the downfall of everything. The snake tells Eve, Listen to this, deepest depths. You know what G-d told you not to eat from the Tree of Knowlege. That's how G-d became G-d. Listen to the deepest depths.
Do you know what brother snake is saying? What do you think G-d is about.
He's a famous kaballist. He took an intensive weekend in Kabballah. Do you really think G-d is anything special, something awesome. Nothing. You eat an apple.
You eat a PhD in Kabballah and you have it.
What is "stuffing"? No inside. Just stuff it in. Who cares, right? Holy stuffing is the other way around. I want the inside. I want the holiest to shine into me. I don't want the outside to interrupt from the inside. G-d should put it into me the way it really is.
Ok, now here comes a really deep Izhbetzer Torah. What's the difference between a cute little vegetable and a tree? How come a vegetable is dead when it's done?
A tree can live for hundreds of years. He says the deepest Torah. The tree prays to G-d, please make something out of me. You know what's praying the most?
And this is one of the top ten Izhbetzer Torahs. It's good to remember. How come one apple tree tastes so good and another one not? When the apple seed is praying before G-d the very last second before its completely disintegrated it's the prayer of the deepest depths. And if its prayer is not so deep...There you have two trees.
I mean the depths of this Torah is awesome. Gevaldt, it's the very last prayer we say before we leave the world... A vegetable prays a cute little prayer. A vegetable grows and then just stops... But an apple seed, it prays so much.
It's every second. It can't stop. The apple seed's prayer is a "forever" prayer.
So the tree lives forever because this seed prayed so hard. Shvat is the Rosh HaShona L'Elanot, the new year-- the headquarters-- of the trees.
Now listen to this, it's so deep. A vegetable when it disappears doesn't cry.
It says, "I had my day. I'm happy. I had a summer. I had a good time on the earth, saw the sun, went to the supermarket, ended up on Shabbos in the chulent...
halivei (it should only be).
Do you know what the tree is crying out? The tree is at its end, each year.
Listen to this. The tree when it reaches the end, mamash, all its prayers are rising up again. The tree prays all its prayers again. Awesome.
I want to tell you something very very deep. Imagine I need coffee. I say, "Please G-d, give me some coffee." And G-d answers me, "Ok, I'll get you some coffee".
But when I pray for something very deep, my prayer is all that there is. The more I need something from G-d, the deeper the depths my prayer touches my neshama.
And that prayer touches all the prayers which I ever prayed in this lifetime and perhaps other lifetimes as well... what do we know... You want the real truth. I don't know.
You see there are two types of Torah -- from the Tree of Knowlege and from the Tree of Life. The Tree of Knowlege Torah, cute... the Tree of Life Torah -- beyond choice. Don't choose. Just stuff it down. I don't have words to explain it -- it's the deepest Torah... so deep...
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I'll tell you somthing -- this is for real. Without really saying anything bad about people -- I talk to yidden who are not really with it. What don't they like? Sukkos they like. They don't sit in a succah, but they think it's beautiful. Chanukah is beautiful. What can't they stand? Purim. Ask around. {FNew44(11)sa} They think Purim is a ridiculous story. {FN44(11a)sa} -- the whole thing is ridiculous.
This is the acid test -- are you not?? emunah (faith). Are you blowing your mind over every word of the Torah? One Rabbi said to me -- a Professor of Judasim at the University of Judaism in Los Angeles. I was saying something about Purim; he was sweet. After he heard the Torah, he said, 'You won me back; Purim has a different light for me now.' He was mamash sweet. He said to me, 'Until now, I didn't like Purim. The story is ridiculous, the whole thing is stupid.'{FNew44(11b)sa} .p
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And you know what it is -- gevalt. If you don't blow your mind over every word of the Torah, you can't stomach Purim. Because Amalek is still having a hold on you. And the way Amalek is having a hold on you -- he says to you -- Be honest with me, you don't believe it yourself, you are just imitating. And also he says, what's there to blow your mind. Sweet, right. It's another religion. Did you study comparative religion? Whatever the Jewish religion says, whatever you can find in it, other religions say it too. Imagine, I love this girl very much. She writes me alove letter. Then someone else comes and says I got a letter from this girl, the same words. Same thing, right; you want to know something -- do you think you are the only one she sends a love letter; she sends 10000 a day. {FNew44(12a)sa} You think G-d is revealing something to you? G-d is reavaling it to every Schmedrick who fasts for 3 days and meditates. {FNew44(12b)sa} He has the same revelation. It's beautiful. I think it's very beautiful. It shows the unity of the world. What are you doing on Purim? What are you doing on Purim?
I want you to know something. On Yom Kippur I'mstanding before G-d and I say, Ribbono shel Olam, I'm sorry Idid everything wrong. Promise I'll do good. You know, on Purim I'm not even talking about my mistakes. I'm standing beforeG-d. On purim, I realize my Fixing is not, not-to-do-averot-- there is no way of NOT doing averot. there is only [one] way of fixing them -- you blow your mind over every mitzva.
You know, if I didn't love someone, there is no way ofloving them or being with them. I have a connection to them. Imagine, I'm married to this girl; I'm really in love with her; sure, I hurt her feelings every day, ___ not, how could I not; I say, listen, I hurt your feelings 10 times, you hurt my feelings 10 times. This [is like] Yom Kippur; what's the fixing; we go to a marriage counselor or we organize our act, we get our act together; we won't hurt each other. That's not the point: Blow your mind over each other, it's the only way.
You see, I blow my mind over Megilas Ester -- like this Professor of Judaica says, it's a stupid story, right. Unless you blow your mind over stories. Someone told me, Megilas Ester is a very cheap romance. You know he's right: 	*If you don't blow your mind over every word of theMegilah, what's the megillah?* You have to blow your mind over it.
I want you to know something so deep: You know: *If you don't blow your mind over it, then G_d's NAME isnot mentioned in the Megilla.*
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You know, it says G-d revealed Himself to him [to Avraham] on the third day, and the medrash says, Rashi says on the third day it hurts the most. And I just want ot all this that, this is also very very deep you know. Everybody has a lot of pain. And maybe when we are in pain, we are connecting to a lot of things, a lot of people. But the question of always that one thing that hurts you most. Everybody has something deep deep inside hurts me the most. The most hidden thing. And the greatest privilege is if Gd reveals himself to me in that very thing that hurts me the most. Oh, this is so deep.
This is the covenant between two people also. A lot of people connect on a lot of pain levels. On joy levels, on pain levels, but the question is always that thing that hurts you the most. That connection.
I'll tell you something very deep. If I'm connected to Gd on that level which hurts me the most then I can last forever. I have always strength. How come we Yiddalach are still alive? How come we Jewish people are still here? Because that which hurts us the most is so connected to Gd that we can go through everything in the world, we can go through gas chambers and we are still alive. Very deep thing you know.
You know, I have a feeling by Noah, you know it's possible to see the flood, possible to live through the flood, and be sad about the destruction of the world, but never to connect really what it means. You know how many millions of people died in that flood? Unbelievable, right? You know it's possible to connect myself to the six million, you know,[as if someone would say]" I read the book While Six Million Died, and I went to a lot of lectures." You know. I hate to say bad things, but: I gave a concert somewhere, they have courses in that university on the Holocaust. So this woman who's giving the course, literature of the Holocaust, is a sweet woman, but nebech. So in the middle of my concert she says to me she wants to make an announcement. So, she's a sweet looking woman, she walks up to the mike and says "anyone here want to sign up for the Holocaust?" You know it's heartbreaking. What level the world is. You know, they're teaching the Holocaust in school like you want to sign up for bioenergetic psychology or psychotherapy whatever it is. You know the words... So, I mean I'm sure she's connected a little bit to the Holocaust. She's connected to the six million. But the question is, are you connected to that which hurts the most?
Listen to me. Let's put it this way. If my brother is mamish crying, would I call up a newspaper reporter and say listen, I know you're looking to film somebody that's crying, and right now my brother is crying; but come fast. I'll tell you something very strong; I was in Switzerland. I saw this cartoon that a man is drowning in the river and this photographer is taking his picture. But he wants a real good picture, so he says, "Please look more desparate, I want a good picture". I'll tell you one thing very strong. That part of the world that hurts the most, that part, hasn't connected yet. Imagine if the world would have one ounce of understanding what hurts us most, us Yiddalach. How could they treat us like this, right? How could they treat us like this? I don't know.
Let's clean the air with a good melody and then let's go. How many candles do we have?
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Chochma is knowing things on a different level. You know, it's possible to know everything in the world and not know anything. I'll tell you, imagine if someone were to tell me how many miles the earth is from the sun. How many millions and...endless miles. 93 million, ok. Better talk to my travel agent, right? Imagine I would know exactly. I know the facts. It's 93 million miles. But one sweet thing is missing. First of all I don't know how much 93 is. And second I don't know how big a mile is. So what do I know? You see, I can know everything in the world, people, I even know about Gd, I know about Yiddishkeit, about Shabbos. I'm an expert about everything. But you just don't know the mileage because you don't know how long a mile is. You don't know numbers. Chochma is, mamish, you know what it's all about. And then this is not enough. You've got to be tied to it. You know what it is, you can know all about Shabbos, I'll tell you something very strong. I once heard in City College a professor giving a lecture on "The Sacredness of Phylacteries." How does it sound to you. The Sacredness of Phylacteries, the holiness of tfillin. Should have said tfillin, it would have been better. 'Sacredness' sounds so goyish. Should have said holiness. And my English is bad anyway, but I never heard in one hour so many fancy words in my life. Mamish he must have had this book on synonyms. It was like every word was way out. So, since I'm a holy beggar, after the whole thing I didn't know what he's talking about. Neither did he but that's beside the point. I asked him, as simple as it is, I said professor, you know, they had a question and answer period. More questions than answers, believe me. So I asked him professor, forgive me if I'm asking you a simple question, are you putting on tfillin in the morning? You talk for one hour how beautiful it is...You should see how mad he got at me. He says to me "How can I? Where do I have time for such things?" You know he talks for one hour, gornisht, right? What was he missing? The first thing he was missing was his kesher, he was not tied to it. You can fly around in great ideas, but gornisht.
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Eliyahu HaNavi says, I can't leave the world because there are lot of Yidden I haven't seen yet. Eliyahu HaNavi wants so much to see every Yid. Eliyahu HaNavi is so much aware. You know every Yid, every little Yiddela has something which nobody else has. And I cannot leave this world until I see it.
Do you know why it's so heartbreaking to see those professors of Kabbala, right. It's the biggest joke in the world. They don't want more because they want to serve G-d with more, because they want to know more...
A professor needs a vacation in the worst way. For four weeks he doesn't want to think of the subjest he's teaching. Because his life doesn't depend on it. Yes, livelihood, but not his life. A Yid, if you are learning Torah, ' Y  V'hagesa yomam v'layla ... You know, on what does Torah Sh'Baal Peh depend? To learn Torah, to add to the Torah only when your very life depends on it, If you can live without it, forget it.
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If you think of it very deep, there's the Written Law, and then, the Oral Law which I'm not permitted to write down. If I want to explain a passage in Chumash, I can tell it to Neeman, he can tell it to Marvin, but I'm not permitted to write it down. So what kind of transgression would it be if I did write it down? In the human body, I can live without a hand, although I need a hand. But I cannot live without a heart. There are certain laws that are like certain parts of your body, and then there are certain mitzvahs that are like the heart and the head.
Let's say Shabbos; it's not just a mitzvah, it's the heart and the soul. So imagine if I did write down the Oral Law. It would not just be an avaira like eating ham. I would literally destroy the covenant between me and Gd, like cutting out my heart. Because my covenant between me and Gd is that there are certain things that I canot write down, it's just my chain to Mt. Sinai.
Later on, Rabbeinu Hakodesh, the holy Rebbe, the only one who was called Holy, realized that people began to forget. So there's a passuk that says that when the time comes to do something for Gd, sometimes you even have to do wrong in order to keep the thing up. So they decided to write it down, because they realized that otherwise it would be completely forgotten. But the craziest thing is, even after they wrote is down, it's still not written down. Because, can you imagine, there's a book like the Gemorrah, and there's not one non-Jew in the world that knows Gemorrah. They have professors, and studying it, and they don't understand it.
And I'll tell you something deeper; if you don't keep Shabbos, if you're not a frum Jew, you don't understand it. Someone told me, he met a professor who was sitting on Yom Kippur, eating breakfast and smoking a cigar, and learning Gemorrah. Gournisht. It doesn't go into his head. If you're not on the level that you have the covenant between you and Gd , it doesn't get into your head.
And the Gemorrah is not only to understand the words; it's a whole way of thinking. It's a Gd-like thinking, the deepest depths there is. And this has to be handed down from Mt Sinai. Let's say I'm learning with Ne'eman, I learned with Reb Shloma, Reb Shloma by Rab Bera, Reb Bera by Reb Chaim, Reb Chaim learned by Reb Yoshe Ber... I cannot count on my fingers all the way to Mt. Sinai. Because what's the holiness about Rabbeinu Hakodesh? He was able to write it down, and if you don't have a Rebbe, someone to connect you to Mt. Sinai... it's unbelievable . For instance, we were learning about Chanukah today, like if you don't know the whole Talmud you cannot even learn one page. Because there's this deep kind of interrelation. And with all the commentaries, it's still in the air; It's still just given over from one person to the other. There are certain things, that if I write them down, they stop being a secret. But with other deep things, I can write them down, from today until tomorrow, and it's still a secret. Let's say, people who love each other very much, they have all kinds of secrets. But they can write down a whole letter to the world, and nobody knows what they're talking about. Because they're so close to each other. But you have to know exactly what it is, and Rabbeinu Hakodesh was so holy, he knew exactly how to write it down.
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One time I gave a little class in Jewish mysticism in NewYork, and taught from one of the deepest books which we have,it's called Mei HaShiloach, it's the deepest fountain inJudaism. But someone in the class couldn't believe it wasreally kaballah, because I didn't draw little charts on a blackboard. He was a tourist kabbalist. It's like if I'm a tourist in Paris, I walk around with a little map, and ifsomeone who lives there tries to give me directions, I say,"How can you give me directions? Where's your map?". (p1415).
"The world is so hungry that they go to any fake in the world, because they're so hungry."
